for a better life

Giving up doesn't mean u lost everything

Giving up mean that u start a new life

A new life not only to u but also him

A new life where can explore a new adventure

An adventure to look for another happiness 

An adventure that will bring another story

A new story of another new u

A new story to write

i hate myself

i hate myself cannot letting u go

i hate myself for accepting u the first place

i hate myself for letting the change slip from my hand

i hate myself for regretting everything 

i hate myself to look normal in front of u but the true is not

i hate myself for loving u right now

i hate myself

i really hate myself 

A Day of Relaxation

long walk today
through a blooming tree
middle of the silent road
under a glooming sky


fell really silent
feel the emptiness 
heart beat very slow
feeling of relax
feel really calm 


thinking of myself
thinking of my life
thinking of my road


seeing all this
i know i will always walk alone
no one would change my fate
no one will change my decision

Exam Exam

facing a lot of exam, 

make me wonder i should continue? or stop half way?

too stress... more stress than working....

i don know how to handling this type of stress

i try to continue with this path...

don wan to regret it on thee half way

don wan to disappoint my parent 

as it also importance to them

In Love?

i confusing 

am i in love or not?

didn't felt any missing him

didn't felt any love to him

didn't felt any thinking of him

but

felt want caring for him

felt want talking to him

felt want finishing my day with him

which is my real feeling? 

does he really the one or he is not?

its getting cold~

what had happen? why getting so cold? 

i cannot bare on cold area

i scare of cold

pls i ask to u my God.. 

pls bring back the feeling of Warm

i miss the feeling of warm

and missing it too much

Been a Sad day

today i see my mom crying from morning to night.. i don't know how i want handle her... i don't know what i need to say, when i saw her cry... i will cry as well... this all happen quite fast and i just blur and don't know what to do. i hate myself.. if i didn't say it out.. this will not happen... i have been face a lot of problem this few days.. all from my institutes then suddenly a big BOOM 

and i shock i don't know how...when i tell my mom, i started to cry.... my mom get MAD then later she cry non stop... i don't know how... all because of good of nothing *%&%^.... i just hate it.